Mothering Teenage Daughters

One of my favorite motherhood quotes is :

"Life doesn't come with  manual, it comes with a Mother".

Another one is, "When we mother, we are mothering generations."


When I started having all girls,  I received a lot of comments about how terrible the teenage years were going to be for me. Our first four daughters are 3 years apart due to having our first two  15 months apart, and then twins. I  had so many sympathy blessings given to me in dread of what was to be the worst and most painful part of my whole mothering career: the teenage years.

I am embarrassed to admit, when my children were little, I lived in fear of those years.  How was I going to safely steer that time with my sanity in tact??

I am happy to report that after successfully navigating the waters of 8 teenage daughters so far, that it has been a pretty good experience. I have been pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed my teenage daughters, and their friends. In fact, I can honestly say, I feel it is one of my favorite stages of motherhood.

The teenage daughter years can be great!! Here are some ways we found to make it successful:

1.   Begin early to have a positive open relationship with your daughters: 

A primary goal we should have as parents, is to have the type of relationship with our children,  that they want to be with us, talk to us, and share their  many feelings, thoughts, and experiences. This creates a rich, close family bond.  It is really the ideal family experience that will only grow with time.

• Don't you want your children to talk to you?  Don't you want to have a relationship with them, where they will come to you for needed advice, counsel, or the best- maybe just to talk  for fun? 

You can't wait until your children are teenagers for that kind of relationship.  If they talk to you, it is because that is a relationship skill you have developed long before the teenage years.  It starts early, so that the flow into the teenage era goes naturally with out a hitch. 

Keep in mind that, girls like to talk. Make time for it. It is usually after school, when you are busy doing something, bedtime, and anytime! That is one way they deal with their day to day experiences.  They are complex, and sometimes they are seeking for answers, but mostly they just want to be understood. 

My daughters all want to talk  and discuss with me (and their dad) their problems.  We know a lot about them when it comes to their personal lives, because they tell us almost everything. They want to talk to us! Now, I am not naive enough to think they tell us EVERY-THING. I know they don't. I do know, however, that they feel we are a safe zone if they need us.

• What does a safe zone look like? 

A safe zone is a place where your children can come and talk and you : 

1-Listen more than you speak. This creates a feeling of safety that they are not going to be attacked with words or punishment before they get their story out .

2- You won't rush to judge or condemn unnecessarily 

3- Love them through the conversation with body language, facial expression, and an attitude they will feel that they are loved no matter what, and 

4- When the conversation ends, they somehow feel in charge, and ready to handle their own problems with tools and advice you have given. Sometimes just listening, helps them discover this on their own. 

 2. How to keep your children from NOT talking to you:

Before writing this post, I asked my adult daughters, what keeps kids from wanting to talk to their parents? Their answer surprised me a little, but then it made total and complete sense. Keep in mind this is geared to the teenager-adult children spectrum, but it's good advice for anyone.    When parents start controlling their children's decisions, kids withdraw, emotionally and physically. It could be a sub-conscious instinct.  

• We all seek to be able to exercise our own free will to choose. It's a super tricky parenting skill, and relationship skill in general. Tell your children what to think, control what they do, cut them off as they are talking to tell them what you are thinking instead, rush to judgement on their ideas, or make them feel stupid for an idea they have. They will make a note to themselves: "Don't tell mom or dad ____(fill in the blank) " and they will start withholding  information from you.  These are  tricky waters to navigate, and it is our human nature to want to control (help) our children. 

• When they are young, we do need to govern their lives,  but this needs to change when they get older. When our children  marry our role changes up a bit again. We sit back more, letting them figure things out with their spouse, but being ready for advice when they come asking for it.  Invite but don't control.  Definitely don't control, scold, or put them in their place. At  this point, you are building on the friendship side of your relationship you built and invested in earlier in life.

 There are of coarse, tough parenting situations, which I don't feel qualified  to speak about. We have been blessed more or less, with not too hard of kids.

3. Have fun and lighten up  a bit

Don't forget to enjoy the ride of parenting.  If you are too overloaded with too many activities....no one is having any fun! Believe me!  Focus on the most important things and enjoy the journey a bit.

4.  Have expectations and have your own family rules: :

It is a proven fact, that a person will rise as far as he is expected to rise. We have always had high expectations for our children, and boundaries they needed to stay within. There is safety in that concept.  Don't worry about what all the other parents are doing or not doing. Do what is right for you, your child, and your family.

• Have chores, cooking, and family responsibilities for your family.

• Remember!  Your children are always watching to see if you are practicing what you preach! Live the rules you are asking them to live.  

Come up with rules of living,  to be a strong happy family. Don't give in to the pressure to follow society or neighborhood trends. Good parenting comes in having good relationships.

• An example of having your own family rules for us would be friend, weekend, sleep overs. This is our personal choice. We used to be a huge sleepover family when our four oldest were younger. I never really loved them to be honest. I liked knowing  my children were safe in their beds at night, and I wasn't a big fan of sleepovers at my house. Many times, the kids coming over were hoping for a rule-less night of fun, and that always clashed with our family dynamic.  I found sleep-overs stressful for me on both ends.
• Look at your family and make sure you know why you are doing what you are doing, and you aren't just following a trend.

5) Be Prepared for the Hormones

All jokes aside, its a real part of life with teenage daughters.  Once a month the hormones will hit. Usually it is not the emotional aches, but the body aches.  Be prepared with the obvious supplies, plus medication if needed. We always have a quart jar for really severe tummy aches.  The weight and heat of the jar-  together -soothe when nothing else will.  (fill a quart jar with water, microwave for 3 minutes, add lid and ring and put on lower tummy area) Rice hot packs also work great.  We have had cysts, and surgeries for cysts, etc. It's a real thing! Watch over your daughter's health in this regard.

6) Love your girls!!

We love our girls more than words can say!!  We have built our lives and house around raising them. Not every part of the journey is fun, but they are memorable. When they leave the house, it doesn't stop!  Family is a wonderful investment!  It is what we are here for. 

Are You Like a Lighthouse?



Heceta Head lighthouse before sunset in all her beauty!!

My husband and I went on an anniversary trip to the Oregon Coast. See my previous post   My Heceta Vacation. 

I was mesmerized by the deep symbolism and parallel that lighthouses have to motherhood. So much, that I couldn't stop thinking about it!   Here are a few thoughts from inside my head....

Heceta Head Lighthouse

Lighthouses stand on the shores and coasts of our world, and their purpose is timeless and constant.  They know who they are there and why they are on this planet. 

They are on the shores as leaders, who lead with strength, not uncertainty, and they are a guide to ships out at sea, trying to get to shore safely.



Their light shines 24/7 consistently through calm still waters, or through turbulent storms.  





Heceta Head Lighthouse

See the symbolism?!

In my lighthouse touring...(if you want to call it that)...I learned a lot! I was like a sponge soaking up all the history, work, and duties of the lighthouses and the light house keepers. and busy applying it to my role as mother. 

• The ocean is so powerful in itself. I compare that to the world around us.  The lighthouse keepers have no control over what the sea does.  We have no control over what the world does. or other people do for that matter.  We have to stand strong in who we are and what our purpose is. We just have to be ready to weather the storms that come. We can never leave our post as mother.

• 
  Every lighthouse emits light from  lamps and lenses that are prism like, and used as an  aid for navigation.  Do you see the symbolism to motherhood? The lighthouse keepers main job is to make sure that lighthouse light NEVER goes out.  In the early 1900s and before, that meant carrying a container of oil (usually whale oil) up the spiral staircase to the very top. 
  
  
  
  During a storm, the wind can blow as high as 100 mph and rocks sometimes fly up and break the glass of the lighthouse light and windows.
  
  
  
     

• It was the job of the lighthouse worker to climb up, during the storm and repair the glass immediately.  The lighthouse light had to be working at all times so as to be a navigational aid, especially during storms.  The lighthouse keepers sacrificed a lot to keep the light going 24/7. 
• Lighthouses come in all heights.  The reason that some are tall and some are shorter has everything to do with their purpose and nothing to do with the designer.  Every lighthouse light must be at the height of the horizon as each one spans the distance of 21 miles (at least where we were in Oregon).  The 21 miles in the distance where the earth bends and that is as far as each lighthouse light will shine.  Interesting information.   A lot of technology and math equations have gone into making each lighthouse an effective guide and light to those trying to navigate the ocean. Sometimes a lot of thinking and prayer need to go into making sure our efforts as mothers has the farthest reaching effects upon our children.
  
   
• Along the coasts of the world, there is a network of lighthouses that work together. Each lighthouse has its own Morris code of blinking lights that is specific to that lighthouse. The ships know where they are, when they see the different patterns of light.  I really loved this information and once again made me think of a network of mothers we all have in our lives from our own mothers, to mother-in-laws, to even strong wise women who in our network of friends in our lives. All these women make a strong united front in strengthening those around us.   

 

Are YOU like a lighthouse?





POWER in the Word

I want to add my witness that scriptures have power to change lives.

"Prophets and apostles have assured us that as we face the trials of mortality, we can find strength, comfort, and peace in the gospel of Jesus Christ. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, said, “I testify as an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ … that the gospel is true, and that it offers the answers to all personal and collective challenges the children of God have on this earth today.”¹

Our individual circumstances may vary, but we can each turn to a divine source of power—the scriptures. ” (2 Nephi 31:20)."  (Ensign August 2012, Finding Power in the Scriptures)

 

Many years ago, I  was a young mother with 4 children under 4.  Two were toddlers, and two were newborn twins.  There is really only one word to describe my life back then...overwhelming! After all of my help left, (aka, my mom) getting through each day was a hard challenge. When I wasn't feeding or changing a newborn baby, I was taking care of my oldest two daughters who were 3 and 2. 

Can you imagine how busy and crazy that was!  I look back now, with fond memories, yet wonder how I did it? The answer is, I didn't do it alone.  None of us do and the scriptures had everything to do with how I successfully managed motherhood then and now.

 Without  a regular pattern of prayer and scripture study  in my life, I wouldn't have the power, strength, and guidance to magnify the most important calling in my life:  Motherhood.

 I learned very quickly, that reading my scriptures and saying personal prayers wasn't something I could opt out of as a mother.  I needed  the power that comes from daily prayer and scripture study.  

The very day I opened up my scriptures, the Lord immediately blessed me .  {See Mosiah 2: 24}

How have the scriptures changed your life?

Must Read Talks on the power of scriptures:

The Power of Scripture- Elder Richard G. Scott, November 2011 Ensign

Finding Power in the Scriptures- August 2012 Ensign, pg 54

Proclamation Series: Nurturing our Family Through Food

In The Family a Proclamation to the World it teaches:

"Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children"

That one simple declaration has made me reflect over and over again on my role in our home as a "nurturer"

I will admit, many years ago, I felt a little gypped that our only declared role was to nurture. It is such a short one-liner. Wasn't there more to be had as a mother? Did we get the short end of the stick?

To nurture means: to promote and sustain the growth and development of something, to feed or support, educate or train, nourish, raise, inspire with confidence, give hope or courage to, care for, rear,bring up from infancy,help develop, help grow...etc

Basically it encompasses all we do as mothers, and what we do best. We have the natural innate tendencies to nurture. Through nurturing we come to find ourselves and fulfill God's purposes.

I have a picture on my wall that is a great reminder to me everyday

We can't underestimate our value and worth in the nurturing of our children.

One of the greatest ways we nurture our family is through food

Children are born associating mom with food. Sometimes we try to separate ourselves as mothers from being the constant need to be the food person.

Through nature and because of nurturing: we are it.

I have noticed that there is little else that can bring a feeling of home, comfort, warmth, and family bond more than mom baking, cooking, being there in the kitchen doing her thing.

I have also noticed, that there is really no homey feeling of comfort, warmth, or family bonding when we as mothers, are not there providing meals and food for our families in a nurturing way.

When we are standing up around the counter, everyone "fending for themselves", and eating on their own. Besides feeling chaos, you will definitely notice that

something is missing!

...and it will effect the spirit of your home and the cohesiveness of our family.

There is something to sitting down together, with every one's feet under the table, eating a meal, and talking about the day. It is worth sacrificing to make happen.

Dallin H. Oaks in his talk Good, Better, Best said this:

"The number of those who report that their “whole family usually eats dinner together” has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.”

What your children really want for dinner is you."

Nurturing our family through food, in one of those small and simple things...
for which great things are brought to pass.

See: Julie B. Beck's, {Powerful Nurturing}

10 Things Teens Won't Tell You

My daughter and her friends

1. You are the most important person in my life.
2. I need rules and expectations.
3. I want you to notice me.
4. I'm tempted to compromise to fit in.
5. Those corny things we do are kinda cool.
6. You are my hero.
7. Your stress affects my life.
8. I need you to interfere.
9. I want you to expect great things of me.
10. Hearing you talk about what is right and wrong is important.

Showing Up for the Little Things

photo source

I am not a big fan of Halloween.  For the most part, I tolerate it.  It is cute, it is fun (I guess), but my happiest moment is November 1st-because it is O V E R! 

This year it is especially bad.  My husband usually out-trumps me in hating Halloween.  I think I have out-trumped him this year. 

The kids, of coarse, LOVE it...so I try to get in the mood to do all the [fun] traditions.


Today was the pumpkin carving contest at school.  This is the day parents and excited elementary age children can be seen carrying their prized creations in the school cafeteria to all be judged as the best in a variety of categories. They had been sending notices home for about 3 weeks, gearing us all up and trying to entice us to participate.   For the most part, I enjoy decorating pumpkins for the contest. Sometimes, I feel artsy-craftsy, and have fun trying to think of fun things to create out of the pumpkins. 

We have only won once, and that was the year we turned the pumpkin in to Cinderella's stagecoach.  We had Prince Charming driving the horse drawn carriage, as well as Barbie/Cinderella sitting inside, waving out the window. We  spray painted the pumpkin with gold shimmery glitter-the whole works. It was fun.

Today,  I feel I gave birth to 2 pumpkins.  I refer to it that way because of how hard it was and how much I wanted to be somewhere else doing anything different. Yesterday I got hit hard and fast with strep throat and  carving pumpkins was the LAST thing I wanted to do this morning.  There was  no artsy-craftsy creative juices flowing at all. My first and only thought was how can I pull this off with the smallest amount of effort?

 Our first pumpkin was in the shape of an apple, so  I let daughter # 7 paint it RED.  She loved every second of it.  We cut a hole, made The Hungry Little Caterpillar out of pipe-cleaners and pom-pom balls and called it done.  It sounds plain, and it was, but it did turn out rather cute.

Of coarse daughter #8, wanted me to C-A-R-V-E her pumpkin.  She didn't want [me] to take the easy way out. We have a book with pumpkin carving patterns, and I asked her to pick one...hoping she would pick the EASY one.  No, she picks the black-widow spider. Besides the fact that  I HATE spiders, this was the most difficult pattern in the book. 

I gave it my best effort, trying to carve the silly spider without cutting all the legs off in the wrong places.    The final product was good, and we were all proud when it was done. 

WHY do we do these crazy things we would rather not do, for these silly traditions? 

What motivates me or anyone else out there to decorate 2 pumpkins at 6:30 in the morning?

I guess for me, I knew my girls had their hearts set on it, and were counting on me.  The fact that I was not feeling well, was tired, didn't want to be there, didn't cross their radar screen.

In all reality, it wasn't that big of a deal.  We all lived through it, and I felt good that I did something that mattered to my children, and my girls were proud to carry their pumpkins into school and to be apart of something bigger than themselves, and ultra-important in their eyes.

  I was impressed with how organized the PTA was when we arrived.  They even gave each participant a prize.  So now, no matter what,  each child feels important and that they have won.

It is so crucial that we as parents "step- up" and try our hardest to "show-up" to those little things that matter in the lives of our children. 

They are counting on us.

Daughter Journals

The journals I bought for my Daughter Journals

I have been writing in a journal since I was 8 years old

It is fun and embarrassing to go back and look at my crazy handwriting and laugh at the ridiculous things I wrote about. 

I have completely forgotten most of the things I journaled about way back then--and actually even 5 years ago.  

I have gone to my journals many times to look up information or details of something I have forgotten about. It has been really nice to have them.

The other day I actually caught my girls laughing hysterically with one of my journals in their hand.
It was one of those moments you think about happening when you are keeping a  journal, and you kind of hope doesn't happen.

The idea of writing a journal for my children came from Linda Eyre. I loved that idea...especially since I already enjoyed journaling.

I went out and bought 5 small-sized, hard-backed journals and started journaling my daughters lives. {see the above picture}

Basically, you start off writing about the day they were born, or even before that--feelings and thoughts you had while you were expecting them.  When I was pregnant, I had a lot of feelings going on about this child who was joining our family.  

I began this journey when I had 5 children, so I had some catch up. But if you don't want to do catch up, I would at least journal all your memories of their birth, then go from there.

Then, write all those cute things they do or funny things they say or interesting things they have done.  Keep it simple and journal about mundane things of their lives-from your perspective as their mother.  Keep it upbeat and positive.  Several of my journal entries  are just letters I write to them on that particular day-kind of my thoughts and feelings.

How often to write?  It is definitely not a daily or even weekly journal for me. I have had my times of writing very regularly, and times of so much business, they sat on the shelf.  I figure, this is one of those choice things I am doing for my children which will make a mark and difference in their lives, so I try to write in it monthly....something they said or what they are going through right now, or special feelings I feel for them as a mother. 

As I write, it helps me keep their lives in the proper perspective. To know that everything they are and whatever they are going through is unique to who they are and they are truly daughters of God, and He has a purpose for their lives. It reminds me that I am just here to guide them through it all.

One last note: Daughter Journals are off -limits for my girls  until they are married or have grown up and left the house for good.  I plan on giving it to them at that time. They all know I am doing this, and are already wringing their hands, anxious to have them.

Waiting on the Lord

Alyssa 20 yrs old

Waiting on the Lord is a concept we have learned, and re-learned, and re-lived each time we go through a trial or experience that requires a measure of faith, patience, and endurance,-more than what we normally live through.

 *********************************

I think back to the time when our 5th daughter, Alyssa,  was born with a cleft lip and  palate.

We first learned of her cleft lip at birth.   I had a normal pregancy in every way except I had an on-going feeling during my pregnancy that something was not right. A feeling mothers cannot ignore, although we might want to.  I honestly thought of anything and everything it could be, and mentally prepared myself for many possible scenarios. At the appropriate time, I had all the tests given to determine the health of the baby including tests taken for birth defects. All the tests came back normal. I still felt something might be wrong. 

 Having a child with a  cleft lip never crossed my mind because I thought cleft lips/ palates were only hereditary.   The many ultra-sounds we had during the pregnancy only showed the perfect side of her face, so her cute little cleft lip did not show itself until her birth.




Picture of my daughter Alyssa at 3 months old

The birth itself was quite dramatic, and I 'll save you the  details, but we ended up having an emergency C-Section delivery. It was so emergency my husband was not  allowed in the operation room.  The doctors and nurses worked quickly to deliver our baby daughter. There was not the normal chatter going on between doctors in nurses during a c-section (I've had 5). Instead there was concentrated serious silence, everyone waiting to see how the baby would be when she was born. When she was born, I heard nothing but more serious silence and Dr's and nurses moving quickly working on Alyssa. She wasn't crying and I wasn't sure when I would hear her cry for the first time. The Dr. then leaned over the blue screen which blocked me from viewing my own C-section surgery, and told me in a careful and compassionate way, that my baby had a cleft lip. I remember saying "okay", but felt shock, numb, guilt, and devastated at not having a perfect baby. 

How did this happen?        What do we do now?     How is this going to change our lives ?    

  

My husband Richard was having a different experience waiting for the delivery in the waiting area of the OB unit.  Soon a nurse came walking down the hallway carrying Alyssa in her arms and told him he had a new baby girl. She then moved the blanket and showed him she had a little cleft lip. It was a complete shock to see his baby imperfect with a birth defect and only added to the drama already experienced this day. He struggled with his own feelings as the nurse asked him if he wanted to hold her? His thoughts and emotions raced with this new reality that we now had a daughter with a cleft lip. We had never even know anyone very personally with a cleft lip. What kind of life would she have?  Having a child with a cleft lip was so foreign to us. 

However, from the moment Alyssa was born, I could literally feel the strength of this tiny infant. Her strength gave me strength. When the nurses showed me her in the operating room after she was born, I looked into her eyes and felt recognition, and noticed immediately what beautiful eyes she had. Everyone commented on her beautiful eyes. Somehow,  I did not feel sadness, or pity for me or her.   I would look into her eyes and there was a sense of recognition that we had known each other once before and that everything was going to fine.  I could  feel she knew something that I hadn't come to yet.   I had no doubt that she was very aware. We were not yet as strong as she was.

The first thing we did   was to turn this trial over to the Lord  and began waiting on Him, although not so patiently at first.  It was kind of a desperate needing in those early days, more than faith.  I learned that desperation is not the same thing as faith.

At 6 weeks old we scheduled her first surgery for her cleft lip at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It was February 25th, 1998.  It also happened to be the date  of the worst snow storm Salt Lake had seen in 20 years. We lived 3  hours away and drove out the day before and stayed with an aunt who lived a short distance from the hospital.

As part of the  preparation for surgery, Alyssa had to arrive fasting.  She could have water.  Keep in mind...she is 6 weeks old!    I was a nervous wreck with 6 week old fasting baby.  On top of that, because of the snow storm, the 15  minutes drive to the hospital, turned into 45  minutes of white- knuckle driving. The entire city of Salt Lake looked like a parking lot instead of a road. It was a crazy day to be on the roads driving, and we had precious cargo on-board, on a serious top-secret mission. That is how  critical this day felt for us. No snow storm, nor anything was stopping us from getting to the hospital for our daughter.  It was our turn to have a perfect baby. 

We finally showed up at the hospital, and Alyssa did amazingly well with the fasting. Once again. she was stronger in body and spirit than her parents. Miracles were on our side. However, we were already emotionally worn out, and wanting this surgery desperately for our daughter.  RIGHT NOW was how we felt inside.  Our situation was more unique, more critical, more needy than any other patient there....or so we felt. We were very self-absorbed. They honestly, couldn't perform this magic  fast enough.

One of the initial steps prior to surgery is a check-up to make sure the children are healthy. It was in this initial exam, that we were told that our baby daughter had THRUSH, and would not be able to have the surgery until that was cleared up completely. Her thrush was so minor, I hadn't noticed it.

'Thrush usually develops suddenly, but it may become chronic, persisting over a long period of time. A common sign of thrush is the presence of creamy white, slightly raised lesions in your mouth - usually on your tongue or inner cheeks - but also sometimes on the roof of your mouth, gums, tonsils, or back of your throat. The lesions, which may have a "cottage cheese" appearance."-WebMD

It was the worst news we could have heard.  We didn't take it well.  We were upset.

We felt our world had come crashing in. 

W-H-H-A-AAA-T-T-T????!! ??????!!!!

 But, but, but,  we drove 3 hours the night before to get here, in the worst snow storm ever.....

 She  fasted..

...and we have been waiting and anticipating this since- her- birth.  We felt our circumstances were more special and more important than anything or anyone elses were. And more important than any medical obstacles.

 Needless to say, WE WERE DEVASTATED....and angry, and hurt, that they wouldn't do the surgery for us that day.  We weren't ready to accept our reality, and waited for the surgeon to tell these nurses what was up! However, that never happened. The hospital staff was sympathetic, yet their diagnosis was absolute.  There was going to be no surgery for our daughter this day.  It wasn't going to be happening.   It seemed the windows of heaven slammed on us and we were all alone.

On top of that because of the harsh weather that day we were also completely snowed in Salt Lake. We couldn't even go home!! We decided to go to  Temple Square and try to bring some joy back into our lives.   

By evening, the snow cleared up  and we were able to travel back home..although we were in the same place we were when we left.  Still needing a surgery for our baby. Except now we were on a mission to get rid of this  thrush that had turned our lives upside down.

It took another 6 weeks to get rid of the thrush. Alyssa was either allergic to every medicine we tried or it just didn't work.  The only medicine that worked was Genetian Violet. [ If you are unfamiliar with this medicine, it is the color and consistency of purple ink and you have to paint their mouths with it.  They look like they just ate a dark purple Popsicle].

 This second 6 weeks was like an endless procedure waiting, trying everything, and waiting some more. It was a purifying, unifying, and humbling time as we learned what it meant to wait on the Lord in faith.  Not faith in an outcome, but faith in Him.

 It was during this time of  WAITING that the Lord taught us, helped us, strengthened us, and made us into different parents.  It was during this 6 weeks that we came to accept our daughter's cute little cleft lip.  We became more patient and long-suffering as we waited on the Lord's time not ours.


From this experience I learned:

Waiting on the Lord is  a choice... because HOW we wait effects what we learn and how we grow. 

In fact, I don't think I am ever NOT waiting on the Lord for something. We are dependent upon Him for everything. Everyday.

What does it mean to wait on the Lord?  Here is an excerpt from Elder Hales talk:

 In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”

It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.” It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”

As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience” and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”

Waiting upon the Lord means to “stand fast” and “press forward” in faith, “having a perfect brightness of hope.”

It means “relying alone upon the merits of Christ” and “with [His] grace assisting [us, saying]: Thy will be done, O Lord, and not ours.”

As we wait upon the Lord, we are “immovable in keeping the commandments,”knowing that we will “one day rest from all [our] afflictions.”

Elder Hales : Waiting on the Lord (read it here)