Although I have managed to put up a few posts these past few months, I really feel I have been missing in action with this blog. I love this blog and love sharing and communicating spiritual thoughts to all of you. I have been deep into motherhood, and really the blog has taken a back seat! As it should. Our most important calling is that of motherhood! I firmly believe that.
With my daughters of several ages, I have my young adult and teenager crowd, who want my undivided attention when they are home. They want to tell me about their day, want me to understand them, want me to tell me about their crushes, about their friends and who likes who, who is going on missions, and they need me to help guide them through their own future plans.
That is one group!
Then I have my one middle-school girl who is feeling the aches and pains of those years. Remember middle school? Ya. It is a daily battle everyday reminding her of her potential, that life WILL get better, and that she does have talents, although right now she doesn't feel like she does. 12 and 13 year old girls are in such a hurry to grow up! They all want to fast-forward to teenager hood. My question is, "what is wrong with being 12 and 13?" In 4 years they will be teenagers, lets enjoy this age! ....Maybe I'll write about that on another day. Sigh.
Then I have my grade-school girls who also want my undivided attention asking if a friend can come over to play, or what they can have to eat.(actually that is everyone asking what they can eat) I also have to remind myself that these cute girls also need my full attention. This is the only time they are going to be their age, and I don't want to miss it. They love to read books to me and follow me around the house, sitting on the counter or in a chair reading to me as I cook dinner or fold laundry. I had a thought they other day while this was going on, how important these moments are.
I don't have any children married yet, so I can't compare to mothers who are in that stage of life. But the Senior in high school- young adults has been the hardest stage for me so far. One, because they think they have it all figured out. You have to put up with "Mom you don't know " and 'I am 18 now I can do what I want" said of coarse with humor and sarcasm because they know they aren't going to get away with that comment!
You also have to be in "stand-by" mode on those flash moments when they really do need you. They are becoming adults and have so many decisions to make that are of such importance.
It is fun and extremely rewarding as your mother-daughter relationship evolves a little bit. It can be a roller-coaster ride as you go up and down with them through all their experiences. Some days I wish I could jump off the roller-coaster ride, but that is kind of what we signed up for. These last few months have been heart-break city at our house. On one week, I had not just one, but TWO daughters crying and heart-broken. And I mean deeply heart-broken. It was hard for me because I felt so much of their pain myself, and was completely helpless to take their pain away. I knew they had to go through it. I knew it was the Lord's plan that they experience this trial, and I had to just be there with words of guidance and comfort. I couldn't take away their pain, and I wasn't supposed to.
This is totally different then when they are 5 or 6 and all I had to do was wrap them up in their favorite blanket and watch a Disney show together.
I really can't fix this with anything. It is between them and the Lord and they have to do it.
One daughter especially thought she would be engaged right now, and instead is just trying to figure out what is the Lord's plan for her life. My previous posts on faith and waiting on the Lord came out of that experience.
What a change I have seen come over this girl as she has completely turned to the Lord in her trials, depended on Him and tried to really let Him guide her life. We have had deep discussions about the Atonement and grace and for the first time in her life, she was faced with realizing she needs the Atonement and striving to understand what the Savior did for her and how she is part of it.
I have watched as her understanding of the reality of God and that she is His daughter grow very real and very deep.
This wouldn't have come any other way.
Hard lessons, but tender mercies as we see the hand of the Lord work in the lives of our children.
To top it all off we received a great letter from our missionary daughter who is getting it!! She is realizing what it is all about, and as a mom I couldn't be more proud of her and more humbled by what the Lord has done for her in 8 short months. This is what she wrote to us:
After this, the way I talked to the people was different. The seriousness and urgency of my calling was different. I have reflected a lot on Elder Hollands talk this past week.
He says, "Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world."
Seriously stepping back and thinking about this. This isn't just something I'm doing for fun for a year and a half. This is the work of ALMIGHTY GOD! "So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord."
There is so much work to do! Do we truly understand the seriousness of our baptismal covenants? When we entered the waters of baptism we promised to devote our lives to him, to do all in our power to follow him.
How great is our calling? SO GREAT! (she says this a lot)
This church is true. God lives as does his son Jesus Christ. They lead and guide this church and ask you to follow him."