Last week on my Family Proclamation on Friday series I wrote a post called What if There Was No Such Thing as Pornography? It is a subject I feel very strongly about and will keep writing about in the future.
Men are more visual. Women are more emotional.
Today is part 2 : this is for the women and can become what some call emotional pornography. Romance novels can be steamy, full of sexual innuendos, painting a very passionate scene in our minds and hearts. A scene that could become addictive in nature. Much like pornography it's intent is to stir up feelings that should be reserved for our husbands in our marriage. It can become a secret part of our lives..indulging in this on the side. "It is just a book", "it is just a love story", may be what we tell ourselves as we indulge like it was our favorite chocolate caramel sundae.
I received this great comment after my pornography post:
'I think women also need to be aware of a danger that many of us are bringing unwittingly into our homes. What I like to call "emotional pornography." Books and movies that have romantic plots, however nonsexual (though usually they aren't), are driving us away from our husbands and families. From our husbands because we imagine we're with a character when we should be focused on being with him and we compare him to fictional characters he could never measure up to. And from our families because I see an astonishing number of mothers spending their hours in books and movies and out of reality instead of engaging with their families. It's scary."First of all, I love a good chic flick as we call it at our house. A good CLEAN romance story can be a lot of fun. I love "You've Got Mail", "Ever After", "While You Were Sleeping" among many others. "The Sound of Music" is one of the greatest love stories ever. I do get caught up in the characters when I watch them, which is part of the fun.
Although any movie, or story that has a romance attached to it is especially appealing to us women. This is our trigger. My teenage daughters can find interest in any book if the author brings a romance into it. We also could all sit down and share with each other how we met our husbands and fell in love with each other. This would be a very fun riveting conversation! We love it! Romance in a story is good, can be righteous, creates a feeling in us to strive for a better relationship with our spouses.
The steamy romance novels are a different story. I call them passion on the pages. The front covers of the book are enough by themselves. The women are busty and with flowing dresses hanging off of them. The men are muscular and drooping all of the women. You know if you open those pages you are in for something you probably shouldn't be delving into.
I do not read romance novels specifically. I don't need that kind of emotional baggage complicating my life. We do get involved in the characters and if you don't want that character to be you, even for a few days, then it is best not to read it.
Years ago, I picked up an LDS based romance novel at the library. I had never read any type of LDS romance book series and I secretly wondered if I had been missing out on something great since so many friends were reading the series. I picked up the first book I found on the shelf and read the inside jacket cover summary. The book was about "a women who was happily married, then suddenly her long lost love from her past came into the picture. She was torn between her husband and her past love. "
I shut the book... and thought "I don't need this in my life" I have no idea if the story resolved itself and the right thing happened in the end. I decided I don't need those kinds of feelings running through my mind at any point, on any day.
Marriage IS ordained of God. We must be completely faithful. This includes being very protective of the movies and books we bring into our homes and into our hearts.
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it says:
"...marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."
"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.."More reading on this subject:
A Look at Popular Romance Novels
Addicted to Romance Novels?